The Curse of the Brown Envelope

Anyone on disability benefits will tell you that getting a letter from the DWP can be quite a stressful experience.

I had a letter this time last week from the DWP about ESA. I utterly panicked. Fortunately my CPN was able to have a chat with me, this week. Apparently most relapses these days are linked to benefits issues.

My brain went into crisis mode. The "good voices" were guiding me and pushing the "bad voices" out of my head.

After speaking to Welfare Rights and having a follow-up call from the DWP, I am not panicking any more.

Bibliotherapy

For years now, I have been studying technical books in Contact.

It was only about half a year ago that I got back into reading fiction at home.

Bibliotherapy is the practise of reading to preserve or improve mental health. There is a 20 minute BBC talk about it here.

A video you might find useful.

I've watched this video twice. As someone with Schizophrenia, I think it is a pretty accurate account.
https://www.rethink.org/get-involved/rethink-schizophrenia…

Of all the symptoms - "difficulty concentrating" - is the one thing I've been able to have some success with. One indicator that supports that is my review of the "Effective Ruby" Live Lessons video files in this month's CVu magazine. It took a lot of time and effort.

When you mix three of the symptoms together - difficulty remembering, paranoia and delusions - you have a potent mixture that can make day to day living a struggle - you are never quite sure what other people have said to you - did you imagine that someone is annoyed with you? - are they plotting something? - there must be a conspiracy against me. And you start to question your own behaviour as well. You then start remembering conversations that probably didn't happen, making things even worse. And eventually you realise your doubts are unfounded and just carry on.

A day in the life of a Womble - August 2017

Sometime back, Jean's computer failed. The Computer Wombling Project had recently been given a tower PC so that was tested, the hard drive wiped and lubuntu Linux installed and passed on to Jean.

Spent a good amount of time last night and today trying to prod Jean's old computer to work - resorted to scavenging parts today.

I have a device, which I call the "Octopus" - actually a "USB 2.0 to SATA/IDE adapter with power adapter" which I used to connect the scavenged hard drive and DVD writer. I gave the hard drive a new partition table and formatted the hard drive (ext4, of course).

The computer doing the formatting etc is a Dell Latitude CPx J650GT laptop. It is a 2003 era device (used sudo dmidecode for that info) and I use it to check devices I am not completely sure of. Waste not, want not and all that. Hostname is verne, user name is jules - so the command prompt reads "jules@verne".

I used GPartED on the scavenged laptop to create the new partition table and partition and as a result the new partition was owned by "root". I tried using sudo chmod and sudo chown and sudo chgrp. Eventually, after a certain amount of time, the laptop grudgingly agreed that a non-root user could write to the drive.

Monday night at St George's

Was at St George's on Monday evening. As I walked in I noticed a number (about 7) Police vehicles, with Police staff sorting out their clothing. Asked what was happening and they said they were sorting out their clothes. So I went into reception and started reading "The Ruby Programming Language" as usual. Later on I looked up and a group of Police in riot gear - stab vests and transparent shields - Roman style (rectangular) and Pict style (Round) flanked by Police with yellow hi-vis jackets on. They headed off to one of the wards so I resumed reading. After a few hours the Police vehicles disappeared so I presume it finished OK.

Political satire and disability.

I was watching last night's "The Last Leg".

I was wondering, what would be the right name for a similar programme that has people with mental health problems as presenters?

* The Last Neuron?
* The Last Synapse?
* The Last Med?

Employment

Many companies ask for people with vision. They are not too keen on taking on people who have visions.

If people want to experience what it is like to work whilst experiencing a mental illness, I suggest they take medicine with unfortunate side-effects - e.g. increased appetite - I once ate a cauliflower cheese meal in a hospital - despite hating cauliflower. And a sedative. Try getting in to work by 9am every weekday on public transport (because you can't take the meds and drive a car) and under the influence of said medication.

I.T. common sense

Hope you haven't been too put out by the WanaCry ransomware attack.

As ever, the cheapest ways to do this is:-
* Ensure staff are trained well. Especially the non-technical staff.
* Ensure all computers have their software regularly updated with maintenance/security updates (aka patches).

The term "patch" comes from the Open Source community on the Internet.

Software written as scripts (Basic, Ruby, Perl, Python etc) are provided in source code form and require another programme, an interpreter to run them. Here is an example programme in Ruby:-

#!/usr/bin/env ruby
require 'Qt'

# For info on using Qt from Ruby programs, see my file qt-notes.txt

app = Qt::Application.new(ARGV)

hello = Qt::PushButton.new('Hello World!')
hello.resize(100, 30)
hello.show

app.exec

So... if someone wanted to improve the above programme, they would edit the above programme on their system. They would then put the original script and the updated script through a programme called diff, that lists the changes that have been supplied. Then the original author can take those patches and make the changes by running the original script and changed script through a programme called patch. Hence the name "patch" :)

Software written in compiled languages (C,C++ etc) can be provided in source code form. Here is an example:-

/*
 Hello Concurrent World example program.
 This text here is part of a multi-line comment
*/


#include <iostream>
#include <thread>

void hello()
{
    std::cout<<"Hello Concurrent World"<<std::endl;
}

int main()
{
    std::thread t(hello);
    t.join();
}

You would run the above software by running it through a compiler, That takes the programme text - and compiles it into binary file(s) suitable for a particular hardware architecture and you run that.

Given the source code, however, someone can improve the software by making changes and again use diff and patch to provide the original author with their proposed changes.

Software would be shared by people on hardware platforms with wildly different architectures and operating systems.

When people talk about "patching" Windows systems they are typically referring to downloading binaries. Someone, somewhere, will have the source code, will have identified and fixed bug(s), compiled it into binary and made it available via Microsoft's Window updates facilities.

D.L.A. ending, P.I.P. being applied for.

Well, the P.I.P. form is almost complete. I would like to thank both the lady from the Citizen's Advice Bureau and Richard Crow for their help. I have been given a covering letter and Care Plan from the Long Term Care Team to accompany the claim - to whom I am deeply grateful.

However, this process is highly stressful. What do I need PIP for? Well, the biggest problem with schizophrenia is that it makes salaried work very difficult.

Whilst working in 1999, I had an episode, my G.P. gave me a sick note with "Mental instability" on it. Within a month I was made redundant. My next job lasted until 2001 whereupon I was again made redundant. This time I had my first admission into a Psychiatric Hospital - about three months in St George's. It is a bit of a quandary, isn't it?

Fortunately I have hit on a compromise - being a part-time volunteer for Contact:-

• I.T Volunteer – tuition, support and acquisition of technical equipment.
• Run a fortnightly “Hearing Voices Group” for people affected by this.
• Act as a proof reader of Contact’s publications – newsletter etc.
• When things are quiet, I improve my skills via books and a laptop running Linux. I am renowned for my intense study and note taking of programming text books. Whilst doing that, I sometimes have a background task – making the cups of tea or coffee or staffing the phones.

Brexit

Britain's advisory referendum was intended to tell Parliament the (voting) public's point of view on this question:-

"Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union?"

As it turns out, there were a lot of lies distributed by both Leave and Remain.

In particular, I saw the now infamous Big Red Bus with this message in huge writing on the Bus:-

"We send the EU £350 million a week lets fund our NHS instead Vote Leave"

As it turns out, the above figure was a lie. I did not trust it and voted Remain.

However, I have discovered a few interesting things about the EU. They have a website about myths about the EU (European Union).

Immigration was cited as a key problem. Did some Googling and found a page about Free Movement of Persons across the EU and found this quote:- "For stays of over three months: the right of residence is subject to certain conditions. EU citizens and their family members — if not working — must have sufficient resources and sickness insurance to ensure that they do not become a burden on the social services of the host Member State during their stay. Union citizens do not need residence permits, although Member States may require them to register with the authorities. Family members of Union citizens who are not nationals of a Member State must apply for a residence permit, valid for the duration of their stay or a five-year period."

So, what next? I am taking every opportunity to oppose Brexit.

I am a Snowflake - 16,141,241 of us voted to Remain. If you are an Exiter, take this statistic as opposition to your stance.

I think the main desire of Exit voters was to vote for change. Both the UK and EU must change. UK voters have endured stagnant wages, the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer and austerity measures.

The Letter

The Dreaded Letter has arrived - my DLA (Disability Living Allowance) is coming to an end and I will have to apply for PIP (Personal Independence Payment).

To Quote Jo Cox

In the light of Trump's coronation and the ongoing Brexit civil war, I'd like to quote Jo Cox, the MP assassinated by an Evil man.

"We Are Far More United Than The Things That Divide Us’

For more information, see this Wikipedia page.

Huffington Post

I've been reading a lot of articles on the Internet today. The Huffington Post has an interesting article here about what might happen about Brexit and Trump next year.

Here is my favourite quote from it:-

The people who see that open societies, being nice to other people, not being racist, not fighting wars, is a better way to live, they generally end up losing these fights. They don’t fight dirty. They are terrible at appealing to the populace. They are less violent, so end up in prisons, camps, and graves. We need to beware not to become divided (see: Labour party), we need to avoid getting lost in arguing through facts and logic, and counter the populist messages of passion and anger with our own similar messages. We need to understand and use social media.

Nice surprise

Well, Ally, a friend in Contact is running a Creative Writing course in Contact on Wednesday's. So I've been attending it. I was asked to provide something as part of a Creative Writing contest. I gave an excerpt from this blog and I came in joint second place - with a £10 book token prize. All I have to do know is decide how to spend it.

Ruminations on schizophrenia

Schizophrenia has positive symptoms (strange name – they include delusions, confused speech and thoughts, all sorts of hallucinations) and negative symptoms (lack of emotion, lethargy). For more details see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia

Well, schizophrenics eventually stumble across coping strategies – things that can help make life with schizophrenia a bit more bearable. One of my strategies is sleep. However, that tends to eat into the day so just over a week ago I started getting out of bed early. Discovered that you can’t change sleeping habits just by deciding to do so – I decided to bribe myself to get out of bed by promising a cup of tea, porridge and a DVD – but it is an ongoing fight. Discovered that you need to choose your battles wisely – by all means, get up early on some weekdays – but for days where an early rise isn’t quite so important, have a modest lie-in.

Another coping strategies for me is music. I find it helps suppress me from hearing voices and from having “mind’s eye” visions. I have been having a disturbing vision where parts of my body turn completely black, a light blue hexagonal pattern covers those parts and then they disintegrate into nothingness. Is there any wonder why I sleep a lot and listen to music? People with vision are sought after in organisations however, if you tell them you have visions, they are not so keen. Another well known strategy is distraction. So I read computing books and test pre-release versions of lubuntu Linux. It keeps my brain active and healthy.

A letter to the EU president.

Dear President Juncker,

I am a 47 year old British citizen and one of the 48% who voted to Remain.

I also have schizophrenia, am living in the community, and have experienced the dreadful cuts to NHS mental health services over the past few years made by the Conservative government. I have had friends who self harmed and some who are no longer with use. I have a blog, http://schizopanic.blogspot.co.uk/ that I have used to  document my experiences.

Whilst I am unable to hold down a salaried position, I find that if I keep learning things, it helps keep the schizophrenia under control. I attend a drop in centre run by http://contactmorpeth.org.uk/, a charity set up to help people with mental health problems, their carers or relatives. I help out on occasion, doing what is necessary.

I feel that whilst not perfect, the EU is worth saving. I voted for the UK to remain – with the intent to vote for reform. Yes, it is nice having two places for the parliament to meet – Strasbourg and Brussels. But it is hopelessly inefficient and expensive. Surely give the advances made in Information Technology, you could have some people work in Strasbourg and some in Brussels and have the two parliaments linked by some kind of video link?

In the UK, It is hard to get good information about the EU. However, some of the EU’s policies have been unhelpful. It would be helpful if the EU developed a website which could be used by the population of Europe to see what the EU is doing. They should be able to see what is going right. They should be able to see what is going to plan and tell their MEP to vote/lobby for change.

Also, MEP elections get scant coverage in the UK’s news organisations. As a result, we end up with people like Nigel Farage, who’s behaviour in the European Parliament has been both unprofessional, appalling and hypocritical.

The EU Referendum in the UK was a fraud. The “Brexit” camp drove a big red bus around the country with the phrase “We send the EU £350 million a week let’s fund our NHS instead”. This was proven to be a fraudulent claim. Immigration was a factor, as well. A significant portion of our population feels that immigrants are unfairly affecting the job market – driving wages down. Also, the economics theories pursued by our government assume the private sector will invest in new jobs and this just doesn’t happen on the scale needed. We have a concept called “zero-hours contracts” where people have to sign up with an employer and only work if the employer needs the staff. This is a disgrace in modern Europe.

Refugees are a challenge. When they arrive in a country, they need housing, help and feeding. Their children need teaching. Simply greeting refugees into Europe is not good enough. Potentially, new towns will have to be developed to accommodate them, plans made to make this work and given a sensible budget to make things work.

Despite the tempting claims made by Brexit, a full 48% voted to say within the EU. This means that nearly half the people who voted wanted to stay in Europe, despite the flaws in Europe.

I am writing to beg of you and your fellow European counter-parts, please don’t write us off. Please, find a way to let the half of the UK who want to remain EU citizens to do so. We share your beliefs and values and we want to be an active, positive, contributing part of the EU. Give us a life line, an option, anything. Please.

Best wishes,

Ian Bruntlett

We've lost!

Well, how the Remain in the EU vote was lost will be discussed in documentaries for years to come.

Here are some observations from Northumberland...

* Our nationwide media just reported EU activity as a figure of fun or evil dictatorship.

* There is a culture of "Us" vs "Them". A lot of people in the UK regard the EU as a joyless, bumbling elite bureaucracy or as a completely united group of countries "just over the channel". Don't know what the EU think of us but our media has a tendency to quote them as if the EU was a teacher telling a naughty pupil (the UK) how to behave properly.

* The EU wasn't open enough. Given the poor coverage of EU activities, couldn't they (the EU) have an easily understood website about what they were trying to achieve, how things worked out and admitting when they got things wrong?

* However, technology marches on. In particular, I've been using Google to find things out since about 1999 (I think). Google has become better and better at finding things for me. So I used it to find out how the EU was helpful for the North East - their fund (ERDF - European Regional Development Fund) has spent lots of money supporting poorer regions in the EU - and here is some information about their support of England. Warning - various politicians are entertaining but that page is just plain information.

* The EU was too distant. It operated at the level of governments and international bureaucrats. It ignored the concerns of the people. Consider immigration - many people in the UK faced or perceived unequal competition for jobs from immigrants. The people in power called them racists, incompetent etc. No wonder they voted exit.

* The younger part of the population voted to Remain. Part of me feels that eventually the young will have their way and we'll become part of Europe again.

* I voted Remain because I felt that we should be part of the EU and, in particular, we should play a role in reforming the EU.

* To quote Johnny Vegas, "Leaving Europe is like telling your parents you want independence, and then you move into the garage“.

* New word - brexopanic. Where you panic thinking about the consequences of the UK's EU referendum.

* And... people are saying this referendum as an advisory referendum.  Who knows what will happen in the coming months?

Brexit

Last night I went to bed hoping for Bremain.

I felt uncertain about the future. I was wondering how the future would work out for me. Last time I felt like that was when I'd been readmitted into Hospital.

Now it seems that more than 50% of the UK population should be sectioned under the mental health act.

An episode

Some time earlier this year, I started becoming unwell. In fact, I was paranoid about a certain thing so I hid the episode from people. Looking back it was probably a psychotic episode. After coming through the episode with no-one hurt I was ecstatic. Next time I might not be lucky.

Getting in touch

I don't know how to edit the top of this blog.

For the moment, if you need to contact me, don't e-mail schizopanic@hotmail.com, please email IanBruntlett@hotmail.com