Thursday, August 28, 2003

Last week I took an overdose. It didn't do any lasting damage so maybe God was looking after me after all. The voices and thoughts of self harm just got too much to bear while making breakfast so I ditched everything and took two days worth of medication then phoned East Loan while I was taking another day's worth. Drusilla on East Loan got me to stop taking the meds and I flatly refused to call an ambulance. So she said Dr Strangelove had just come in, could she call me back? She did so and then told me an ambulance was on its way. The ambulance came round to my house, thankfully switching its lights and sirens off once it had come into my street. Before we started off, the ambulancemen (paramedics) asked what I had taken (3600 mg of amisulpride and 3 days worth of reboxetine, whatever that was), took my blood pressure and then we were off.

Casualty was really strange. Everyone was dressed in those strangely fitting blue trousers and shirts, just like in Scrubs on Channel 4. And everyone was very calm. My blood pressure (b.p) was taken again and I was eventually put on a trolley. After a while I began to feel very tired. Then Dawn from the CAOT turned up and she chatted for a while. It was nice to have a friendly face. Then she went away. Every so often someone would give me an ECG to check my heart out. After a brief lunch break in which I was given a sandwich, I was taken to the medical admissions. After a while Drew from the CAOT turned up and chatted, expecting to be able to take me home. It turned out that I wasn't going to go home due to an irregularity with the beating of my heart (caused by the amisulpride). Just after Drew left I threw up and I felt nauseous and ill until 10:30 that night. So I was wheeled off in a wheelchair to ward 2. It was full of really ill people - I was in for observation only. They were groaning, coughing and spitting all night long, the sound of nebulisers was deafening so I didn't get to sleep until well after 11:30. I asked myself what would Salam Pax do? He's probably trying to sleep in the desert, lieing on a thin sheet sheltering under a HumVee somewhere, dodging scorpions. Maybe I shouldn't things are so bad. During the evening I'd had visions of a proper English breakfast for some reason.

Anyway, breakfast arrived and it was continental - that's what you get for joining the E.C. - cornflakes and a bread roll. I was told I was going to be discharged that day and then I waited and waited for Dr Quatermass to turn up. We had a discussion about things and she asked some medical questions about my heart irregularities. Then, when that was over, I waited for someone from the assertive outreach team to come and pick me up. As it turned out, Willow, the O.T. who is taking over from Fuchsia turned up and gave me a lift back to my house. I stayed there for a while and then later, when Willow phoned and offered a lift to East Loan, I gladly accepted and ended up back on East Loan again.